Women in her fifties

A woman, in her fifties, is at home happily jumping unclothed on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says that not only am I healthy but I have the breasts of an 18 year old."

The husband replies, "What did he say about your 55 year old ass?"

"Your name never came up," she replied.

retired sailor

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads to the docks once
more for old times' sake.


He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it
as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he
asks, ' How am I doing '?


The prostitute replies, 'Well old sailor, you're doing about 3 knots'.


Three knots he asks, 'What's that suppose to mean ?'


She says, 'You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your
money back !'