Workplace Ethics

Dear Supervisors:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers, therefore, a list of TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees

TRY SAYING
" Perhaps I can work late "
INSTEAD OF
And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING:
" I'm certain that isn't feasible "
INSTEAD OF
No fucking way

TRY SAYING
" Really? "
INSTEAD OF
You've got to be shitting me

TRY SAYING
"Perhaps you should check with . . ."
INSTEAD OF
Tell someone who gives a shit

TRY SAYING
" I wasn't involved in the project "
INSTEAD OF
It's not my fucking problem

TRY SAYING
" I'm not sure this can be implemented "
INSTEAD OF
This shit won't work

TRY SAYING
" I'll try to schedule that "
INSTEAD OF
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner

TRY SAYING
" He's not familiar with the issues "
INSTEAD OF
He's got his head up his ass

TRY SAYING
So you weren't happy with it?"
INSTEAD OF
Kiss my ass

TRY SAYING
" I'm a bit overloaded at the moment "
INSTEAD OF
Fuck that, I'm on salary

TRY SAYING
" You want me to take care of that "
INSTEAD OF
Who the hell died and made you boss

TRY SAYING
" I see "
INSTEAD OF
Blow me

TRY SAYING
" He's somewhat insensitive "
INSTEAD OF
He's a prick

TRY SAYING
" I think you could use more training "
INSTEAD OF
Do you know what the fuck you're doing?

Thank You,
Human Resources