one for the ladies

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped
out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would
think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said -That's
a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the
sofa and fart.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive
man?
A: A rumor


Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.


Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"